Original Research - Special Collection: UP Faculty of Theology Centenary Volume One

Where is God when dementia sneaks into our house? Practical theology and the partners of dementia patients

Maria Bons-Storm
HTS Teologiese Studies / Theological Studies | Vol 72, No 4 | a3227 | DOI: https://doi.org/10.4102/hts.v72i4.3227 | © 2016 Maria Bons-Storm | This work is licensed under CC Attribution 4.0
Submitted: 26 October 2015 | Published: 31 May 2016

About the author(s)

Maria Bons-Storm, Women Studies and Pastoral Theology and Counselling, University of Groningen, The Netherlands; Department of Practical Theology, University of Pretoria, South Africa

Share this article

Bookmark and Share


How can hope, love and faith stay alive when dementia enters a home? In this article I shall look especially at the spouse or partner who shares an abode with a person with dementia. Most of the authors in this field, also John Swinton who is perhaps the best known author whose books are written from a (practical) theological perspective, focus on care in institutions, that means care by professionals. A partner living with a dementia patient has two main roles: as partner and caregiver. Night and day a partner is witness to the ongoing deterioration of her or his beloved partner, without being a professional. This article is founded not only on literature about dementia patients, but also on the experiences of several partners, as well as my own experiences as a partner. The question we all ask is: ‘From where does our strength come?’ I argue that what is said in the literature on the subject of (the pastoral care for) dementia patients does not help the partners, because it lays a heavy burden on them, who are already suffering from feelings of grief and guilt. I do not agree with John Swinton’s idea that God created dementia. Looking for different ways of thinking about God and faith to survive with hope and love, I turn to the exegesis of the creation stories by Ellen van Wolde. These give the opportunity to take the evil of the situation of the deterioration of the personality of a patient with dementia seriously, and at the same time grant the possibility to turn the grief and guilt feelings into strength to fight evil, together with a God whose empathy and love stays with a partner in her or his loneliness and grief.

Keywords: dementia; partner care; guilt feelings; evil; God as ally


dementia; partner care; guilt feelings; evil; God as ally


Total abstract views: 3167
Total article views: 4768


Crossref Citations

1. Equipping Families and Friends to Offer Spiritual Care to People Living with Dementia: Findings from a Meta-Synthesis
Darrell Jackson, René Erwich, Eleanor Flynn, Titus S. Olorunnisola
Religions  vol: 13  issue: 5  first page: 462  year: 2022  
doi: 10.3390/rel13050462